And Moses said to Aaron, “Take a jar, and put an omer of manna in it, and place it before the LORD to be kept throughout your generations.”
Exodus 16:33
"What would you say is your 'season' of life currently?" --my dear friend Anna asked me just a few days ago.
At first I wasn't sure how to respond, then moments later the answer came quietly and assuredly: fall. Not as cold and heartwrenching as winter, not as bouncy and idealistic as spring, not as rich and fruitful as summer... Fall. A more settled and quietly present beauty. Peaceful, yet at times feeling the cold winds that foretell a coming winter... Fall.
My time with the Lord has led me to believe this, as well. Reading in Exodus and the Psalms, I have been struck multiple times by the Lord's emphasis on remembering. During their time in the Wilderness, the Israelites were instructed to observe the Sabbath rest by collecting double portion of manna (their daily, miraculous food) on the 6th day, since none would be provided on the actual Sabbath. As I pondered that, I couldn't help think of the ant storing up for winter. This is where I find myself right now--storing up for winter--the pending grief I sense is about to sweep in like a cold front. Not that I am wishing it in, but I do sense the Lord's nudge to make a mark of remembrance.
And so... My Manna Jar. This morning I began a project the Lord had placed on my heart some time ago: to fill a jar with reminders of the Lord's many blessings. On slips of paper I wrote meaningful moments with the Lord (such as my quiet time looking out at God's creation a few weeks ago when a hummingbird stopped right in front of me and flew around my legs!), answered prayers (last week I prayed for a pineapple and told my roommate: 'I'm letting you know I'm believing the Lord to answer my prayer for a pineapple so when he does he gets the glory!'... then, wouldn't you know, an hour later she came to find me--the kitchen had cut up a pineapple for that morning's snack!), sweet moments with the boys (being the first to rise with Miguelito on his birthday, allowing us to have a special Bible study together on a cliff overlooking the rapids), things I'm grateful for (all the leaders and mentors in my life: Mom, Grandpa, Steve S., Chief, Anita, etc. etc. etc.), and more... What a beautiful thing to remember what the Lord has done! He is so good.
And yet, the remembering is a reminder that there will be times when we need to do just that: remember, because there are times where that may feel like those memories are all we have to go off of...
A few hours ago, we received news that a past Micah boy, one of the older brothers of a boy living here now, was shot and died this morning... Grief. When grief comes, where do we turn? We remember--the God who rescued us from Egypt is the same God that is with us now. Julio, I love you, my brother. The God who you knew loved you in summer is the same God who seems absent during winter. And, even in winter, I trust you will find joys and blessings that are unique to this season. I'm so sorry for the pain, but please know it's not forever. Winter isn't forever. When the cold comes, remember...
