But here's the problem--in my pursuit of being healthy, I've been unhealthy. I've had some health issues for a while (hormonal things we don't really need to get into). This manifests itself in acne, cracked/bleeding feet, stomach issues, etc. And guess what all this traces back to? Too little body fat. Meaning, too much exercise. Shoot.
I have another problem. I am also a recovering doaholic. I love to be on the go--projects, important conversations, vision casting. I love jumping from thing to thing--taking pride in rarely sitting (beyond my designated, disciplined times of sitting to be with the Lord). I love to be "the best I can be."
Okay, this is good... to a point. But, as with working out, in pursuing good, healthy things, I am often unhealthy. This manifests itself in being tired, antsy, ready for change (again), impatient. And by treating the problem with more things to do, I have again shoved aside a bigger problem: my inability to just be.
Check this:
Be still and know that I am God.*
Okay, Lord... I'll be still... DONE! Okay what now?!?
I hope you laughed at that. But, seriously, I think I often approach "be still" in this way. A stopwatch--give the Lord another 5 minutes, 30 minutes, maybe even an hour--and then what? All me and my doing doing doing from there?
Now, I am not advocating laziness here. I am advocating harder work. Much harder. I am saying, if we want to be healthy (spiritually and physically), our work is to BE-lieve.
This is the work of God, to believe in him whom he has sent.**
Jesus said that. And, in case you weren't aware, he was talking about himself.
So what does this look like? Well, rather than work work work in the way the world tells us we need to work work work... What would it look like if in the morning when the Lord put it on my heart "today you aren't running, today you are praying" that I actually prayed? BELIEVING that God actually listens to my prayers (and that they are more valuable than toned calves). What would it look like if I stopped caring so much about how I looked to others in my job--putting hours upon hours of extra "face time"--and instead put my face to the floor and prayed over theirs? BELIEVING that the Lord is the one truly at work, anyway, not me. What if instead of hiding behind a computer screen--able to check off so many productive-looking things--I started really digging into the mess of relationship? BELIEVING that God will be with me when things get sticky and that his labor is a labor of love.
I don't want to be a workoutaholic, a doaholic, or anything of the sort. I want to be a BE-liever. And that is a far more strenuous workout. A far more challenging and rewarding calling. The fight of faith is worth the sweat, the tears, the pain. It is worth the difficult calling to wait on the Lord. (In other words, to believe and expect the Lord). This is a far better workout. As Paul said, "...for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come."***
So, I'll keep working out (physically), but in moderation, since it does have some value. But as for the fight of faith? Fighting for godliness in a dark world? Fighting to believe in my Lord throughout all things? Yeah, that's the better workout that I'm signing up for. Let's get real: the promised reward is way better (and lasts a whole lot longer). So for that--I'll keep running the true race. Even when running means being.
*Psalm 46:10
**John 6:29
***1 Timothy 4:8
