Tuesday, December 15, 2015

The Love That Wasn't Asked For

    Hovered around a beaten up couch with my Micah family, I gently held little Daniel's hand and scratched wide-eyed Noe's back as we watched our newest brother screaming with every shred of life he had left.  Though our latest Micah member had only come into the home two days prior, twelve-year-old Jose Luisito had already been strong on our leader Michael's heart for months after seeing his frail little body living and dying on the streets. Yes, I am convinced that God chose Jose Luisito to be adopted into our family far before he ever came to us, and even before Michael had been awoken night after night with little Luisito's face etched into his thoughts and prayers.  Jose Luis was chosen to be rescued.
     But that rescue was not chosen by Jose Luis.  So malnourished that he should be dead, why wouldn't Jose Luis want someone to save him from the destruction of the streets?  Why wouldn't he want the food he needs instead of the crack he craves?  Jose Luis didn't want to be rescued.  He still doesn't.  He wants the streets.  He wants what is killing him.
     Unlike typical Micah policy, we didn't give Jose Luis a choice.  We took him in, and we've kept him. This may seem unfair to you, against his free will, but he is a dying child.  It doesn't take more than one look at his small skeleton blanketed only by a thin layer flesh of flesh to see that he's nearing his last breath.  Something had to be done.
    There have been many moments of play--futbol, video games, bike-riding--but afterwards always come the crisis.  He screams, he curses, he bites, he kicks, he cries... To keep him from fleeing to his doom, men and boys gather around and pin him down on that rugged couch.  The staff and Micah boys pray as they speak words of love over him--"We are for you.  We are doing this because we love you.  This is for your good..."--yet Jose Luisito always responds with words of hate.  Cursing Michael, who has done nothing but love him.  Threatening to kill those who are standing in his way, who are the only obstacle keeping him from fleeing to his own bitter death. Spitting at those who are holding his head to keep him from choking himself. Proclaiming Satan while we speak over him the truth of Jesus as the one who has conquered him.  
     Jose Luisito has his demons.  The effects of crack cocaine and the demons inside him are evident to us all.  The battle is real.
    But the battle is not only real for Jose Luisito, it is real for us all.
    No, I have never been a cocaine addict.  No, I have never encountered demons in the way this child has.  But I have been dead.  Dead in my sin.  Unaware of the life and love of my Father.  I have spit at Jesus, rejecting the one who came to save me.  I have tried to run away from him, believing I know better than he.  I have rejected his provision and instead have chosen to care for myself.  I too am a recovering addict--an addict to sin.
     But God chose me.  And he never let me go.  Struggling to run away from his love only makes me tired, because there's nowhere that I can flee from his presence.  The discipline he's shown me has always been for my good.  My Daddy loves me.  He sent his Son to die for me even when I considered him my enemy.  He showed his love for me when I didn't even want it.
     When I see the Micah family, all filled with their own hurts, struggles, bruises, and baggage, huddled around this boy that they are determined to love, I see the Gospel.  I see Jesus, my Savior, and my loving Father who sent him.  Oh, I long for the day that Jose Luisito rests in the freedom that he has been brought into.  I long to see the drugs leave his system and for the demons to flee.  I long to see him playing with joy--laughing and smiling, free from fear.  I long to see him overwhelmed with gratitude that Michael decided to take him in, and trusting that he really does love him.  But even more than that, I long for the day that his eyes are opened to the love of the Lord.
     I have tasted and I have seen: The Lord is good. He is our loving Father. He hates the sin in us just like we hate the crack in Luisito--he hates it because it's killing us.  The sin is not us; the sin is our drug. Evidence that we have rejected the Father.  We sin because we don't love our Father.  We don't love our Father, because we don't believe that he loves us.  But, oh, how he does love us.  He showed us his love when he died for that sin, so that we may live with him forever.  He wants us to live with him forever because he loves us.  So let's believe that the Lord does love us and that he knows what is best for us so that we may begin living in the love, joy, and freedom that he died and rose for.

*After being initially rejected for treatment in the hospital, we have finally found a treatment center for Jose Luisito that will help us help him on his journey to healing, to his journey home.  Please pray for Jose Luisito.

A Cup of Water

For truly, I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward. Mark 9:41 ...