"The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God will stand forever."
Isaiah 40:8
There are only a few weeks left at Micah before my pending wedding, and my heart is heavy. The weight of what I am leaving behind is as prominent in my thoughts as the new season to come. And though my faith is renewed by the reminder that the Lord--the I-AM God--is present in and through it all, I am still struck by the brevity--as well as the eternality--of life.
Holding onto Mocha's paw, I look into the eyes of this 91 dog-year old chocolate lab as the teary-eyed vet gives him his last injection. The gray-haired smile of Micah's 'grandpa' brings tears to all of our eyes as we gaze back at him. Mocha has been a companion and friend to many at Micah for what has felt like an eternity, but in this moment we all know his life in this world is not eternal at all but coming to a close.
I have encountered death in so many forms here at Micah, but this is my first time to sit with a creature at the crossroads. With each moment I have left with him, I wonder which one will be his last, and as I do time feels suspended--hanging in the balance. I know the moment I have with this dog now will soon be a memory. So how do I embrace each moment of life when I know that death is coming?
Before I know how to answer this question, it comes. Mocha passes--his body and memory remaining with us--and the day goes on.
The previous moments still lingering, I begin to clean out my room, knowing I won't have much more unscheduled time before the coming wedding. Going through pictures, notes, and prayers, I am reminded of the Lord's faithfulness through so many seasons. Seasons that have died but that still live on in memory. Seasons whose passing have always cleared the way for something new to come forth--bringing my heart great gratitude as I know another season is coming to a close... and another is beginning. One moment gone, another in store. For me, for those around me, for those I have never known... but all known by the Lord.
"All known by the Lord."
This thought brings me great comfort as I step forward into life alongside the man that I love--knowing there are so many I know and love here that I am about to leave behind. In body, that is, but not in heart--that is a place they will never leave. Even so, the Lord has allowed me to be here with them in body for a time--to live and to love those who he has placed me with in a way that is tangible to them. Not that I've done this perfectly--I have contributed both to the hurt as well as the healing in my time here--but somehow the Lord shows his unbroken love to and through broken people (me being one of them). And I know that his unbroken love will continue to shower all over my Micah family--no matter where we all go. The Lord is with them as he is with me. And I want them to know it.
Elvin, our newest Micah boy, bursts into my cabin, "Is it true you're going to the States?"
Prepared for this, I affirm gently, "After we get married? Yes. For a while."
Elvin and I gaze at each other for some time until I remind him, "You know that we love you."
Elvin nods.
"And the Lord loves you," I say. "And just think about how faithful he has been to you."
I remind him of how the Lord had his eye on him while he was on the streets, that we were all praying for him there, that the Lord brought him to Micah, how the Lord has continued to be with him here, and how he always will be.
Elvin looks at me, listening intently. I tell him of how Jesus loved his disciples and trusted the Father's plan for him, knowing that he was to go the the cross and leave them for a little while, but how he then resurrected and returned--giving us hope that life together is forever. The separation is just for a while. And that, by God's grace, the family of God will all be together for eternity one day.
Elvin looks at me, listening intently. I tell him of how Jesus loved his disciples and trusted the Father's plan for him, knowing that he was to go the the cross and leave them for a little while, but how he then resurrected and returned--giving us hope that life together is forever. The separation is just for a while. And that, by God's grace, the family of God will all be together for eternity one day.
"The Lord will never stop loving you," I say. "I am just one of the many, many ways he has shown you some of that love."
As he looks at me, his current teacher (apparently he ditched class for this conversation) knocks on my door. "I'm looking for my student," she smiles at us with a knowing glance.
I look back at Elvin, "See? She loves you too. God is going to continue to show you his love through so many people."
Elvin leaves and walks off with his teacher, who loves him (by the grace of God). A grace I know the Lord will continue to show him--forever.
And so, as I look to the Marriage to come, I know that I can walk forward with confidence. Knowing not only I, but these boys, are in his hands. The Lord is on the other side of this aisle of life. An aisle the Father has walked us down. He has been by our side through each and every passing moment. And then, at the end of the aisle, when the Lord Jesus embraces us as his Bride, we will finally be able to truly experience the forever-life that he bought us through his love--a love that endures forever.
