Lady in Waiting

Surprise, I'm engaged! 

While on a brief trip to the States to do a couple of Gospel of John shows, Jared (the incredible man over whom I made a RASH DECISION) flew into my hometown and proposed in my childhood living room--just a few days after he and his parents had visited me at The Micah Project in Honduras. And yet, magical as that trip was, Jared waited until I was back in the States. In the one place I always feel at my absolute worst: Rockford, IL. Where all of my brokenness, attitude, and unworthiness is most clearly on display. There--that's where Jared promised to love me forever. There--the place I'm at my worst. And, as magical as that location does not feel, I can't think of anything more romantic.

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Post-proposal Jared and I drive back to his current city--St. Louis, where I have another John show lined up. The days fly by--filled with so much love, encouragement, and support from friends and family. And then, far too suddenly, it is time to go again. Devastated, I get in the car to take two days to visit my dear friend and fellow Micah missionary, Stephen Kusmer*, in Indiana. Stephen was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer this past January while I was in Rockford for my Grandpa's memorial service. Because he was suddenly rushed to the States, I haven't been able to see him since receiving the news. And though I have been longing to see him, right now my mind is blank, and I can't seem to think let alone get excited for this long-desired visit.

"Lord, help me to break out of this sadness--to be a blessing and encouragement to Stephen," I pray.

Prayer prayed, the sadness remains. I trust upon seeing my dear friend that all my sadness will fade away, even if only for the sake of my friend, but I still have a few hours left in this car ride and I don't want to waste them. Even so, I can't help but feel empty, not hopeful, so I pray again,

"Lord rather than be sad about what I've left behind, help me to prepare for what is to come."

Prepare... wait a minute... Oh my gosh!  I'm getting MARRIED!?! Suddenly I feel utterly unworthy. A rag-romping Cinderella in need of some sort of anointed fairy godmother. Entirely out of my element, I pray again,

"Lord, please help me with the dress!"

(Hint: he does).

When I finally arrive at Stephen's door, I am instantly flooded with peace and joy. After a wonderful day together, Stephen tells me that our Micah friends--Sara and Paty--are coming for a visit, too. Sara, from Honduras, moved to Iowa a year ago to be with her mom after nearly her whole life apart. Paty is in the area for a couple of days visiting Sara. So, of course, they decide to visit Stephen in IN the same day I do (my presence unbeknownst to them).

I open the door when they arrive, and they are obviously shocked to see me. (None of us have ever seen each other outside of Honduras). Paty immediately notices my hand, "KELSEY!?!?!?"

"Yup, I'm engaged."

Appropriate teasing ensues for the girl who 'never needed a man.' Paty grins and imagines me all done-up in a wedding dress. Ugh... the dress...

"Girls, I have NO IDEA what to do about a DRESS!"

Immediately, Sara chimes in, "I have two bags of wedding dresses in my car!"

Wait... What? She can't be serious...

"¿En serio? I just prayed for a wedding dress!"

"¡Sí! My aunt got these for me to sell to consignment shops so I could raise money to send to Honduras--to help people. But no one will by them from me. Since I'm Latina--"

She doesn't even need to finish her statement for me to understand--they think she stole them.

Imagining I must have heard wrong (second language problems), I casually follow her out to the car from which she pulls out two massive bags of, yup, wedding dresses. I take out the first and, to my surprise, it's gorgeous. I put it on, and I feel like a princess. I try on the rest, but this is the one I come back to. I check for the male approval in the room. "That one," Stephen affirms, as baffled by all this as I am.

Trying to find words, I tell Sara I have some money in my backpack (not that it would even be nearly enough) but she stops me, "NO! This is the will of God, Kelsey. These dresses were to help people. God wanted you to have it--it's yours."

Still stunned, I take in the sight of my dear friends. Friends, who have had particularly trying seasons this year, and here they are genuinely and humbly celebrating with me... And all I want right now is for them to have my joy.

"Alright!" I insist and gather them round. "I'm praying for YOU! Because this is OUR Father who has blessed me today, which means he's not only my father, he's yours, too. And that same faithfulness you see in God towards me is the same character of the God who loves YOU."

And then... I pray. Once I finish, I open my eyes to see hopeful, heart struck tears. And I know--this dress is not just for me. This dress is a sign, a symbol--of the Lord's extravagant love for all his children.

Yes, I'm getting married. But whether or not that ever happened this side of eternity, I know that the true marriage is to come. Our Lord Jesus is the ultimate romantic. He committed to us with a promise when we were at our utter worst--when we nailed perfect him to a sinner's cross--and he will see his promise through to the very end when he clothes us in the most beautiful and priceless garment we could ever imagine: his righteousness. And though it cost him everything, he has given us himself... no charge.
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*Read more about Stephen's journey here & please join us in praying for him!

**As Jared and I have been praying into our wedding, Jesus' parable of the Great Banquet (Luke 14:12-14) keeps surfacing. Feel free to pray with us into what this could mean for those around us as we prepare.